PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
