Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
