i don't like sucking hair
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
