I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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