Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
