Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
