I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
