Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
