I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
