dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
