That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
