So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
...so i touched it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
