I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
