I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
