I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
