I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
