My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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