At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
