I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
another moral hangover. fuck.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
