dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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