I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
