I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
