Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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