I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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