god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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