New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
