ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
her vagine was all disorganized.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Randomize
