This is not my ceiling
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
