So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
