sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
As shirtless as possible
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
