So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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