I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize