I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
