Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Is Oprah even human
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm like, not good at living.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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