His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm always down for nudity.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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