i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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