3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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