so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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