So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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