hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
"it" just moved
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize