So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
