My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
