she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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