what day is it and did you see me today?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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