If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
