Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
MIDGETS
????
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I woke up under a house in Key West
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
