either way he was missing a nipple.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
