My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
