Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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