I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize