I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
