take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
