I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize