Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
