I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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