the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
