I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
