just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize