FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think your dad took our porno
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
