i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
