You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
