I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
